RESPONSE TO A SELF PORTRAIT

 

Searching like I’ve always done before

But I can’t find “I” anymore

Gone, forgotten

Like a lost cause

 

Trying to spot the semblance

-to no avail

In place of my self portrait

-only a blank slate

 

What I once painted with passion

Denies my vision like an illusion

This is a response to my self portrait

That lingers in a mental allusion

 

Have I lost my sight?

How can the paint disappear?

Is the canvas deceiving me again

for me to not exist?

 

The brush shakes in the hand

Dips in paint but all is clear

Impossible to recreate

The self portrait that used to be…

Even before there was a “ME”

 

                               

 

                                                                                               

 

 

BROKEN SHADOW OF YESTERYEAR

 

Broken shadow of yesteryear

Of an image split in two

Coming back to haunt me again

As I’m still thinking of you

 

Trying to arrange the events

And find reasons that are clear

Broken shadow of yesteryear

Presents itself in my dreams

 

Stitching back the memories

Some are bitter but most sweet

Broken shadow of yesteryear

Its pain you make me feel

 

Lost and confused again

Yet you always follow tight

Broken shadow of yesteryear

Not letting me breathe tonight

 

 

                                                                                          

 

 

 

 

IN THE DEPTHS OF MY DESPAIR

 

In the depths of my despair

I wrestled with a monster

In the depths of my despair

I was baptized by a saint

 

Laying on the ground

A child that begs for help

In the depths of my despair

By the devil held

 

I fell as a hero

But also betrayed my cause

In the depths of my despair

Nothing seems clear anymore

 

Laughing and shedding a tear

I often find myself alone

In the depths of my despair

I keep on getting lost

 

I walk, stop and think

Trying to see beyond

This darkness is “ohhh” so cold

Can barely stand it anymore

 

In the depths of my despair

I wonder like a lost cause.